ESSAY 1 REVISED

After reading my colleagues' work and sharing ideas, I realized I could improve my first essay by not adding a closing sentence on my introduction, to save it for my conclusion. Also, explain my opinion/ ideas better. Give a better explanation to what I'm trying to say to my reader. I feel like I need to add something more but I just can't think about it at the moment. By the way, there might not be as much changes or any at all from my first essay because I already made them on my first post. I can sort of say that I'm proud of the result but I feel like I'm missing something. Hope you enjoy reading it!!🙂


        Many might agree with E.M. Forster when he stated that personal relations are more important than causes or patriotism. What do you personally think about this? Are personal relations really more important than patriotism, or is it the opposite? I personally think that personal relations are more important than patriotism, here’s why. Patriotism means “love that people feel for their country,” as the Merriam Webster dictionary says. As you can see there, patriotism is just the love towards your country, which to me doesn’t seem that important. Now, personal relations are “close connections between people, formed by emotional bonds and interactions,” as the online dictionary says. This seems to grab more my attention, due to the fact that is mentions “connections between people.” Now to answer the question, Agree or disagree with E.M. Forster's view that personal relations are more important than causes or patriotism? I would say that I do agree with E.M. Foster’s statement. I do agree that personal relations are more important than patriotism because it’s something that most of us humans have in common and can connect with. With personal relations we bond, love one another, connect, and many more with family, friends, and partners. When in patriotism you can only share your facts and/or affection towards your country.

To begin with, you can see personal relations between family, like mostly every day. Personal relations are seen in families when they express their love towards one another. As many might know, some families don’t even show love, but there are other ways that they show personal relations. For example, when a family is bonding in any way, no matter how but them being together and them spending time as a family, in a positive way of course. You can’t really see patriotism in families, unless they love talking about their love towards their country, which I don’t think they do, maybe. With personal relation a family comes together as one person. In less words, personal relation is like the pillar that holds the family together, in my own personal opinion. It can also be seen between friends. Friends bond with each other mostly every day, they come together to appreciate that they have each other. Personal opinions can also be seen between partners. Partners build up affection and love, which shows how personal relations takes place. Personal relation is seen and experienced by others every day, no matter the occasion.

Next, patriotism is quite different from personal relations as I mentioned before. I would consider myself not much of a patriotic person. You may wonder why, so here’s why. I know that patriotism comes around when people celebrate a holiday from their country. For example, in America most of the people celebrate the 4th of July big. That’s the time of the year when everyone shows patriotism, their love towards their own country of whom they are proud of. Patriotism isn’t really something of much meaning, people might not even know much about their country. There might be some persons out there in the world that show patriotism in a daily basis, not just by saying the Pledge of Allegiance but in a different way. We all show patriotism everyday but it’s probably only once per day, maybe even just for 5 minutes, that is when we say the Pledge of Allegiance. Many don’t know the main facts about the United States, which isn’t bad.

Lastly, patriotism and personal relations might have different definitions to them, but they have some things in common. They share the fact that they both bring persons together as one. It can bring them together either by discussing how they feel about something or how they feel towards each other. They don’t have many similarities, but I’ll try my best to say most. They provide communication towards persons and their family, friends, and/or partner. They both also show love towards something. People can bond with each other, some people love talking about their love for their country and no, it’s not weird it’s called being different. It’s like me just talking about my love for agriculture every day, which I kind of do. Anyways, those are all the similarities that I could think of.

Clearly, I agree with E.M. Forster's view that personal relations are more important than causes or patriotism. Personal relations show more affection between people and can share more facts towards basically anything. Even though both show love towards something personal relation would still be my choice. Expressing yourself in such a way towards something besides a country might be hard with patriotism. I know I already stated my opinion to what I think is more important, but that doesn’t mean that other think the same as me. Every single person has different opinion towards things and also a different way of thinking. To connect with the title, hugs come in helpful no matter the occasion. We all need them once in a while, or even if we don’t need them we still get at least one. Hugs helps you stay connected and close to the people you care about!